Hear Ye! Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
The Anderson Family is thrilled to announce our newest addition…Todd Michael Labrum! That’s right folks, Jessica has snagged herself a man! WooHoo! As you can see by the picture, they are madly and passionately in love and we all celebrated their marriage back in July. You might remember last year’s Christmas letter (we realize you don’t remember, but we can still hope that you have read it every week since we sent it). Last year we told Jessica it was her last time being featured in our super cool Christmas letter until she found a man and became a wife. She obviously took us seriously and not only did she find one, she found a really cool one. Todd is fun and funny and sometimes even goofy, so he fits in with our family perfectly.
Toddica (it’s their celebrity couple name…you know, like Brangelina and Bennifer) met in their ward in Provo and after a very quick courtship they began a very quick engagement. (Keep in mind that Dave and Pam have known each other since 4th grade so any courtship that doesn’t involve going through elementary school, middle school and high school seems short to them.) They were married in the San Diego Temple on July 24th and it was truly a fairytale day. You can see more pictures on our family blog (http://funnyfamilyoffive.blogspot.com/) but do remember that the camera adds 40 pounds, and in reality, Dave and Pam are stick thin.
After a fabulous honeymoon in Aruba, the newlyweds met us in Chicago to continue the celebration. The Labrum family lives in Libertyville, a beautiful suburb of Chicago, where we had another amazing reception. We had never been to Chicago so we were excited to see the city. We pictured concrete and really tall buildings. Well, there was some concrete, and there were some really tall building, but who knew? Chicago has trees! Lots of ‘em! It is so beautiful there, we just loved it! We had a ball in the city…walking down Michigan Avenue, riding the water taxis, seeing the pier, and although they call it a lake, we loved what we now call the Lake Michigan Ocean. People, it’s an ocean. I don’t care what you say, the thing is HUGE! The Labrums welcomed us with open arms and treated us as if they’d known us forever. (It’s good they haven’t because so far we’ve been able to keep all our skeletons in the closet! They have no idea that Pam is stalking Tim McGraw and that Dave accidentally shaved off his eyebrows a couple of years ago! If you don’t know the story, you must ask Dave. It’s hilarious!) We couldn’t love them all more and we are so grateful that Jessica has another family to love her.
Jessica and Todd have settled happily into a little apartment across the street from BYU and Todd is plugging away at school and work while Jessica works as a stylist in a salon. The really exciting news is that Jessica is learning to cook, and loving it! As far as we know Todd hasn’t had the runs even once as a result of her cooking. This is the same girl who Pam couldn’t get to make ice cubes when she lived at home. You can check out some of her culinary creations on their blog (http://toddjessica.blogspot.com/). It would be wrong to meddle in their marriage and suggest that they make Dave and Pam the happiest people on earth by producing the world’s most beautiful grandbaby, so we won’t go there. We’ll just say that as they ran to the limo from their reception, Zach Labrum, Todd’s younger brother, was chanting “Nine months, nine months, nine months” and at that very moment Zach became Pam’s newest BFF! To be serious for just one moment, we truly are grateful that our little princess has found someone who treats her like a queen. We are so happy that they will be celebrating Christmas with us in Oceanside!
Oh my, we just remembered that there are two other children in the Anderson family. I guess we should give them a little mention. It would be a shame to skip this opportunity to embarrass them in front of their family and friends!
ShelbyLynn is a senior! You may not believe it, but the proof is on our family blog in the form of her senior pictures. Shelby worked hard her first three years of high school so that she could be a slacker her last year. She finishes school each day a noon, but somehow has managed to stay super busy with drama, choir, work, driving her little car all over San Diego County, and the “B” word. (Boys!) Dave and Pam don’t like boys. They don’t want boys hanging around. They don’t want boys noticing Shelby’s existence. Sad to say, but you don’t always get what we want. Just this very afternoon Dave and Pam will be attending a high school production of Shakespheare’s The Tempest where Shelby not only has the lead part of Miranda, but she also has an on stage kiss. Dave and Pam plan to be in the front row, shooting the stink eye at the poor boy who is playing the part of the kisser. Pam told Shelby she is going to videotape the smooch and put it on her Facebook, but in reality she will probably be too busy trying to hold Dave back and keep him from punching the kid’s lights out. It promises to be a brutal and ugly scene. We’ll capture as much as we can and post it on YouTube for your viewing enjoyment. Our little Shelby Birdie is ready to flee the nest, but we’re praying she will stick around for one more year so we can continue to torture her with our love and affection. She adores her new older brother, and is still plotting the perfect murder of her younger one.
Speaking of Jake, he is now a sophomore! He has grown like a weed and now towers over Pam. (We know what you’re thinking, there are Umpa Lompas that tower over Pam, but you get the point!) Jessica and Shelby still think that Jake is the favorite child, and they might not be far from right, although he can drive Pam crazy at times. Let’s take yesterday for instance. Pam was driving Jake to the golf course while listening to Christmas music. Jake was purposely singing off key, which was ruining the Christmas spirit. Pam asked him to stop, begged him to stop, then finally issued a threat! “Stop now or I’ll put that picture of you in piggy tails on my Facebook.” Evidently Jake doesn’t mind sporting piggy tails because he refused to stop. He should know better than to mess with Pam, because right at this very minute you can view an adorable picture of a two year old boy in piggy tails on her Facebook. Jake is truly hilarious and keeps us laughing almost all the time. He earns ITunes songs from Pam by ratting Shelby out when she is less than a perfect driver. The breakdown goes like this: reports of tailgating = one song; reports of speeding = two songs; reports of talking on the phone or texting = an iTunes album. As you can imagine, his music library is quite extensive. What does that Say about Shelby’s driving? We know what you’re thinking, Dave and Pam should write a parenting book. They really do have some evil slash great ideas when it comes to raising children! Jake is so happy to finally have a brother and no longer feels outnumbered by the girls, but judging by the piggy tail photo, you’d think the Andersons have three girls!
How are Dave and Pam doing…you might ask! Well, they survived their first wedding and we are all very proud of Dave for managing to avoid the fetal position as he gave away his little girl. He didn’t, however, avoid breaking out his “sprinkler moves” during the daddy daughter dance. The PI business has remained painfully slow for the past three years so Dave decided it was time to make a change. (Imagine the song “Secret Agent Man” playing in the background as you read this part of the letter.) Dave is now a Federal Agent for the United States Government, working for the OPM, so now he can sit around all day shootin’ the breeze while eating donuts and never be fired! He is still running Serious Surveillance on the side. In January Dave made a New Year’s resolution to lose 80 pounds before the end of the year. We’re proud to announce that with three weeks left he only has 70 pounds to go. Dave says experts advise slow weight loss is the best way to keep it off. Pam’s goal was more general. She committed to being in better shape by the end of the year, and lucky for her round is a shape, so I guess we could say she met her goal! Pam has joined the world of Facebookers and has had more fun than should be legal stalking her kids and writing all kinds of embarrassing stuff about them on their Facebook accounts. At Halloween time she posted a picture of Jake when he was about five years old, wearing Shelby’s queen costume, and that one was so popular that she later posted a picture of him wearing a tutu that the girls had put him in while playing dress up. Is anyone seeing a concerning pattern here? Pam’s goal is to have more friends than her kids, so if you haven’t already, please send her a friend request. Pam had a slightly embarrassing moment (a rare occurrence) when a magazine with a sample of Tim McGraw’s new cologne arrived in the mail. The sample was put in the fold of one of the pages and Pam immediately and excitedly ripped it open and took a big whiff. Heaven! She then proceeded to rub the page all over her neck, accidentally giving herself a huge and very painful paper cut. The cut mixed with the cologne was excruciating, but you know what they say, love hurts! Pam is still in a state of depression from finding out that small dogs can live up to 20 years. Tinkerbell continues to walk all over Pam’s last nerve and no one seems to care. Since our last Christmas letter the psycho mutt has had two false pregnancies. We’re not kidding! She has serious psychological issues! In that respect she fits into the family quite well.
We truly hope that each of you are feeling the Christmas spirit. It’s a great time of year, a chance to reflect on the birth and perfect life of Jesus Christ. We feel very grateful for His gospel and for the many blessings that we enjoy. We have such a fabulous family and the most amazing friends. We love you all and send you our warmest wishes for a terrific 2010!
With love, until next year…
The Andersons ~ Dave, Pam, Jessica, Todd, Shelby Lynn and Jake
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