Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!                                           December 2012

Here’s the skinny from the Andersons and Labrums:   

Jessica and Todd were elevated to the status of favorite children when they produced the world's most amazing baby!  Hudson Michael Labrum was born on May 14th and instantly Pam turned into the most braggy, obnoxious grandma that ever did live.  Jessica and Todd are perfect parents, unless you factor in the time recently that Hudson rolled off the chair, and Pam is a perfect grandma, unless you factor in the time she almost used Preparation H on Hudson's circumcision.  Hey, don't judge, she was sleep deprived!  Hudson thinks everything is funny!  Jessica and Todd will go to any length, forsaking all pride and vanity to crack the little guy up.  He is also a great fake crier, and let's be honest, that takes talent!  If Todd starts to fake cry, Hudson will get the biggest cutest fat lip you ever did see and start to wail, too.  It's so cute that they can't stop making him cry.  Some call that child abuse, they call it entertainment.  Are you ready for news that is too good to be true?  Todd has an internship in San Diego this summer so Dave and Pam will be able to smother Hudson with love and loud, hideous toys that only grandparents buy.  We couldn't love him more and we're ready for Jessica and Todd to pop out another one!

Auntie Shelby decided to participate in the demolition derby again this year.  By again, we mean she also participated last year.  We didn't mention it in last year's letter because we thought it wouldn't be nice.  But when you total your second car within a year's period, the cat is comin' out of the bag.  Last year's fatality was a Toyota Echo.  Poor little thing didn't stand a chance against the classic newly painted Camaro that it rammed into.  This year’s fatality involved the grandma vehicle that Dave found to replace the Echo.  Once again, that poor Hyundai Sonata didn't have a prayer against the 2012 Honda Civic and...that's right, this time it was a three car pileup...the 2011 Toyota Sequoia.  Only the Sequoia limped away from the scene of the accident.  The other vehicles were towed, Shelby's to Hyundai heaven.  The funniest part of all was Shelby's comment to Pam a few days later.  She said, "Dad didn't exactly have his I'm just glad you're okay face on when he came to rescue me."  It's true; Dave's sympathy level was at an all-time low.  Now our little drag racing queen is flying around town in a super charged, fire engine red beast of a Pontiac Grand Prix.  Makes sense, dontcha think.  If you total two slow cars you certainly won't total a race car.  Pray for our little Shelby and everyone else who is on the road when she's driving. (NOTE:  No humans were injured during the making of this story.  Only Shelby’s pride was hurt!)  Even though she’s a crazy driver, we still love her, especially because she’s willing to touch up Pam’s gray roots on a regular basis!

While Shelby was totaling cars, Uncle Jake began collecting them.  You'd think they were matchbox cars the way he trades them.  His pride and joy and true love is his 1992 Toyota MR2 which he affectionately refers to as The Two.  Or the Mr. Two.  Call it what you want, it's his baby.  Most days he can be found in the garage waxing and polishing her up.  Then he got a bright idea to buy a Jeep.  The beast of a Jeep will rattle your brains and shake the panty hose right off ya.  Just ask Pam!  It's not meant to transport 52 year old women who are hanging onto their continence for dear life.  Now he's decided to sell the Jeep and stick with the Mister.  He still loves to golf, loves his job at the golf course, and loves "talking" with the girls in the pro shop.  Pam spends her days spying on the hoochie mamas, making sure they stay an arm’s length away from her baby boy.

Grandpa Dave was headed toward the cul-de-sac hair do and he decided any amount of fuzz on his head could not and would not be tolerated, so he shaved his head totally bald and...are you ready for this...also his stache!  That's right people, for the first time in 31 years he is whisker free!  Unfortunately Pam is not!  Grandpa wishes his little Huddy wasn't so far away but teases and torments him across the miles thanks to Skype and FaceTime.  He continues to collect knives and guns and Pam continues to sleep with one eye open.  A few months back he worked out of town in Los Angeles for 3 weeks, so the family decided to go up and visit.  It was a fun weekend, eating at Pink's Hot Dogs (where Tim McGraw is known to eat) and buying a map of the star's homes in Beverly Hills, and finding Tim McGraw’s home where Pam plucked (some would say stole) a lemon from his tree.  No, we're not kidding.  She would have used his out house had it not been behind a very tall electric fence.  How do we know it's electric?  Pam's got the perm to prove it!  Speaking of out houses, Dave and Jake made their mark in Tom Cruise's port-a-potties.  The weekend in LA could be summed up as The Beverly Hillbillies, Part Two!

Grammy Pammy can't seem to keep herself in California since that blessed day in May when Hudson was born.  The woman who barely ever stepped foot on an airplane is now racking up frequent flyer miles left and right.  She had a few not so slight travel issues on her Halloween trip to Chicago.  Just a couple of the many problems were:  waiting at the wrong gate for her plane and having her name called "Pamela Anderson" over the loud speaker while everyone turned and looked in great disappointment and getting stuck in Vegas overnight due to heavy fog in San Diego and staying in a hotel with no luggage at all, not so much as a toothbrush, hairbrush, deodorant or makeup (you do the math).  Thankfully what happens in Vegas...  Not to be deterred, she is planning another trip in December to visit her sweet grandpunk.  You might recall that last year she was in love with a bulldog named Jane.  That was short lived and ended abruptly when Hudson was born.  She has now returned to her senses and despises both dogs equally.

Tinkerbell decided to take up doggie cannibalism, but because she is super stupid she decided to eat herself.  She now has a huge scar the size of a softball on her hind end that is so gross not even Jane will play with her.  Speaking of Jane, she continues to melt Dave's heart with her personality and melt everyone else's nostrils with her flatulence.  Pam is working on getting them to commit a murder suicide so she can live dog free!!

As we love and snuggle our little Hudson this Christmas, we will think of the Baby Jesus, born in a humble stable, the Savior of mankind.  How grateful we are to learn from His perfect life and be saved by his Atoning sacrifice.  He is the reason for the season, and we hope that this Christmas season brings you blessings beyond measure.  Each of you is a blessing to us, and you are truly loved by the Andersons!

Merry Christmas!  May God bless you, each and every one!
Grandpa Dave, Grammy Pammy, Jessica, Todd, HUDSON, Auntie Shelby and Uncle Jake

Friday, February 4, 2011

Stirring It Up With Pam

  Did you know I have a cooking blog?  Well, I do.  And you should check it out.

I've had a lot of fun with this little blog.  I love to cook, and gathering the family around good food is one of my favorite things to do.

I really really really hope you enjoy stirring it up!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Merry Christmas Everybody!

A big HoHoHo to y’all from the Anderson Family!  It’s that time of year when we put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and humiliate ourselves in the annual Christmas letter.  So let’s get this party started!  WARNING:  This year’s letter contains graphic medical issues that are not for the faint of heart.  Continue on at your own risk!

We’re gonna lead off with JAKE this year.  The past year has brought some highs and low to Jake’s life, but unfortunately they have come by way of his blood sugar.  Last February, during a physical to qualify for the golf team, Dr. Krak (pronounced crack…which is a huge problem for Pam because due to her immaturity she giggles every single time he says his name) discovered Jake has Type 1 Diabetes.  Not good news, but Jake has taken it like a champ!  He’s a real stud when it comes to pricking his finger throughout the day.  Oh, except for the time when Pam accidentally set the needle to #9 instead of #3 and it went halfway through his finger.  Pam has been less than helpful in this area but is fabulous when it comes to nagging slash reminding him to test his blood and take his medication.  Having an excuse to nag is every mother’s dream.  As you can see in our spiffy picture, Jake lettered in golf last year and now proudly wears the jacket as proof!  And, Jake’s big big news is that he is driving.  Not just Shelby crazy, but actually driving a car, and not just any car, a five speed!  Pam is as nervous as a fat turkey on Thanksgiving morning when it comes to driving with teenagers, but even she will admit that of all three of the kids, Jake has been the best driver.  Pam has gone through far less pairs of Depends with Jake than she did with the girls.  Jake will take his driving test the day after Christmas and then will no longer need his mommy to drive him to Seminary and the golf course.  (Picture Pam in the fetal position as she thinks of her baby boy no longer needing her!)  Jake is a ton of fun and as far as teenagers go, he’s not on our nerves too badly!

Moving along, it’s time to feature slash horrify SHELBYLYNN!  We need to take you back in time.  Back to when Jessica was 12 years old and Shelby was 6.  Jessica broke her arm at school and Pam took her to the doctor to get a cast.  When they returned home, they saw that Shelby had wrapped her arm in toilet paper and had made a matching toilet paper sling.  She “claimed” that she had broken her arm also.  (There’s probably no need to point out that she is the middle child.)  Now speed ahead 12 years and here we go again.  Jake was diagnosed with Type 1 and within a couple of months, Shelby fainted at work.  Passed out!  Went down for the count!  Got the vapors!  Call it what you will, but she and the floor of In and Out Burger became intimately close that day.  The only difference between now and 12 years ago is that this time Shelby wasn’t faking.  After numerous tests, and a few more fainting episodes, Shelby has officially been diagnosed with Graves Disease.  Don’t panic, people!  Graves Disease doesn’t send you to the grave.  It’s just named after a doctor named Graves.  Most parents would feel nothing but sympathy for such a situation, and Dave and Pam did feel some, but also had emotions of sheer envy.  You see, besides fainting, Graves Disease causes your body to burn every single calorie consumed, leaving the lucky, oops, we mean poor person who has been diagnosed, very very thin.  Poor poor Shelby!  Eating anything you want and never being able to gain a single ounce.  If it was contagious we’d stick her in a kissing booth and sell tickets to chubby people.  Unfortunately, it’s not!  Shelby’s illness caused her to miss so much college that she had to withdraw, but now that she’s heavily medicated she will start up again after the first of the year.  The older she gets, the less inclined she seems to inflict pain upon Jake.  It’s an interesting phenomenon, for which we are grateful.  ShelbyLynn is full of life, except when she’s passed out.  We love her either way!

Now onto the not so newly but still pretty newly-weds!  JESSICA and TODD have had quite a year in Provo.  They are happy happy happy and as cute as can be.  We are super duper proud of Todd for graduating from BYU in August with a major in Economics.  He may have graduated from college, but he’s still got some serious school ahead…law school!  Todd was preparing to take the LSAT (the law school entrance exam, not for the faint of heart, obviously not for Shelby).  Todd studied and studied.  Then he studied some more.  He took at least a million and two practice tests.  Maybe a million and three!  We lost count somewhere along the way.  He was ready!  He was prepared!  He was knocked out cold three days before!  What is it with this family?  Is anyone seeing a disturbing pattern here?  Poor Todd was playing soccer three days before the big test and next thing ya know, he’s got himself one whoppin’ concussion!  When he first came around, he couldn’t remember much of anything.  Jessica rushed to his side, as any good bride would do, and then rushed him to the ER.  On the drive over Todd became Ten-Second-Tom, the guy in the movie 50 First Dates.  Every ten seconds he would ask the same question, “What happened to me?”  Jessica would say, “You hit your head while playing soccer.”  Then Todd would say, “Did we win?”  This went on for quite a while.  Todd fought back and decided to go ahead with the LSAT.  We’re happy to say that he did great on the test and that his memory no longer resets six times a minute.  Jessica has been working hard all year as a part time nanny and full time hair stylist.  They are looking forward to finding out which school they’ll attend and where they will be living for the next three years.  Don’t tell Jess and Todd, but Pam and Dave send subliminal messages via Skype that say “Come to California!  Come to California!”  Wherever they land, they’re gonna land on their feet, and hopefully stay on them this time. 

Now onto the not even close to being newlyweds, DAVE and PAM.  We’re just gonna spit it out.  There’s really no easy way to say it.  The family tried to kill Pam this past year.  Bump her off!  Eighty-six her!  Go OJ on her!  You get the picture!  While on a family quad ride in the mountains of Southern Utah, Dave, Shelby and Jake convinced Pam to drink from a “natural spring”.  Pam didn’t want to do it!  She said no way!  She was sure there were cooties in that bubbling water.  She succumbed to peer pressure.  And yes, she did partake!  A week or so later she was near death’s door and in the hospital with a 104 degree fever.  The doctors said they thought she had Hepatitis A.  Pam asked where she would get such a thing.  They said possibly from contaminated water!  And that’s when she knew the ugly truth…those she thought loved her most had tried to do her in.   Never mind that it turns out she didn’t have HepA, and never mind that everyone else drank the water and no one else got sick, Pam still knows the truth and she is still sleeping with one eye open!  They never did figure out what was wrong with Pam.  Some think she was just sick and tired of dealing with people who were sick and tired.  Oh well, she’s back to being perfect now so nothing for y’all to worry about.  Dave managed to escape physical illness this year but didn’t fare so well in the mental wellness department.  We’re sheepish to tell you that his “feminine side” kicked in this year and caused some horrific moments.  The first happened in a shoe store.  Pam had gone next door to purchase something and left Dave and Jake alone to look for shoes.  Pam realizes now that this was a monumental mistake and she has vowed to never ever do it again.  When Pam walked into the shoe store, there Dave was, in all his glory, wearing high heels.  Yes, you read that right, high heels!  He claims they were those shoes that work your glutes while you walk, but Pam will testify to the truth!  High heels!  She screamed in horror and immediately made him remove the stilettos!  We had hoped Dave’s moments of femininity would have ended there, but no such luck.  Not too long after that Pam overheard him saying to Shelby, “Do you have an eyelash curler I can borrow?”  No, people, we’re not kidding!  Shelby nearly passed out again, this time from sheer terror at the thought that her dad was perusing through her makeup bag.  Dave “claimed” he had a stray eyelash, but we have our doubts!  We’re keeping a close eye on him and we’ve put Pam’s pantyhose behind lock and key!

We normally mention the dog at this point of the letter, but it’s just the same old story.  She is still mentally unbalanced and at this very moment in time is experiencing her fifth false pregnancy.  She is truly psycho, and that would be easier to take if she wasn’t so homely and annoying!  If you’re shopping for a psychotic, ugly, whiny, neurotic, obnoxious dog for Christmas this year, give us a call!

While sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner this year we each took a moment to count our blessings.  There’s no doubt, we are blessed.  We are thankful for a loving family, fabulous friends, the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this marvelous time of the year when we celebrate His birth.  We love this quote by Neal Maxwell: “"Each of us is an innkeeper who decides if there is room for Jesus!"  This year we are working hard to make room for him, for he is truly our Savior!

      Merry Christmas!  We love you all! 
Dave, Pam, Jessica, Todd, ShelbyLynn and Jake

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Playing Dress Up

When my kids were little I used to LOVE making their costumes and getting them dressed up for Halloween.  Here are some of my favorite pics of my kiddies in dress up...

This one isn't from Halloween, but one night Dave and I went out and when we came home, this is what we found.  Everyone in tutus, including Jake!  This is the curse of having two sisters, and this is one of my favorite pics of all time!

One year we had the Wizard of Oz theme goin' on!  Jess as Dorothy, Shelby as the Wicked Witch, and Jake as the Lion! 
Here's a close up of the little witch...
And one of the lion...
I guess Dorothy was too cool for a close up that year!

Here are my girlies as a flower and bumble bee.  Jake was an infant that year and we dressed him up as a pumpkin.  He cried the whole time! 
I think I must have wanted three girls, because one day I just couldn't resist giving Jake piggy tails.  Hopefully I haven't traumatized him for all eternity.
Looking at this, there's a good chance I have.  My mom made a queen costume for Shelby one year and she wasn't around to try it on for a fitting.  Since Jake and Shel were about the same size, we used him as a mannequin.  What were we thinking?  He's even wearing the head piece!
Here it is on Shelby.  This picture is much less disturbing!

More girls in tutus! This time it's the cutest cousins, Jess and Janz!

This time they're "dressed up" to go to a play with Grandma Niecee.  Check out the leg pose.  Hilarious! 

This was Jessica's first Halloween.  She was almost a year old.  I was so excited to make her costume!  Jess was always a great sport, even at this young age.  She was always cooperative and adorable!

I'm beginning to think that Jessica had aspirations of becoming a prima ballerina!  Or maybe she just loved tutus!
This pic was actually taken at Christmastime.  Jake loved to sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" so for the family talent show we dressed him up as Mike Piazza, his favorite player, and used mascara to create a mustache.  He got up in front of the crowd, started to sing, and burst into tears!  What a stud!  The worst part was that the tears made his mustache run!  Not a good look!

My mom made this silly costume for Jake one year.  When someone would go to put candy in his basket, his hand would pop out and scare them.  Obviously grandma has a twisted side!

Jake used to dress up like a cowboy.  Daily!  He dreamed of being a cowboy!  He pretended he was a cowboy!  He walked, talked and dressed like a cowboy!  It was the cutest phase ever!

He even dressed like a cowboy when he was wearing PJs!  In case you can't tell, that's a gun in his right hand!

 Here's Jess, all dress up for a performance for the school choir!

Here are the boy cousins getting to smack a pumpkin pinata!

Girls don't smack, they pose!

This is Jake on "Clifford" day in kindergarten!  I love, adore and cherish this picture, and this boy!

This is Jess the year she was in beauty school.  Can you tell those beauty school girls are into makeup?  Big time!

That same year, Shelby was a bunny and Jake was Zorro!  And yes, he had a BIG sword!  And no, he didn't use it on Shel!

Jessica came home a couple of years ago at Halloweentime and the kids got out the old costume box.  Here's what they came up with out of that old box of memories...

 Is anyone shocked to see Jake with a weapon?  I didn't think so!

We've made some great "dress up" memories over the years, and we're looking forward to making more someday with our grandpunks!  If we ever get any grandpunks!  Did you hear that Todd and Jess?  We're ready for grandpunks whenever you are!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

My Little Green Goober Mobile

Today I want to pay tribute to my 1999 Toyota Sienna minivan, or as my kids like to call it, the green goober mobile.  Why am I honoring my geeky minivan, you might ask?  Well, because today the speedometer hit the 200,000 mile mark, and that my friends is quite a milestone.

I've decided to post the top ten things I love about this very hip, very cool minivan:

10.  It's green!  The color of nature.  The color of trees and bushes.  The color of grass and meadows.  The color of boogers!  GROSS!  OK, I'll admit it, I don't love the green, but because this minivan is so cool, it can pull it off!

9.  All the seats come out and it turns into a lean, mean haulin' machine.  We have crammed more junk in that little minivan than I care to recall on this little blog, but trust me, it holds its own when it comes to haulin' junk!

8.  It has captains chairs in the back, which came in handy when Shelby and Jake were little because it put them just out of reach from each other.  This way they couldn't kick each other, smack each other, bite each other, or put gum in each others hair.  At least not until they got out of the van.

7.  It has a CD player that has faithfully blasted Tim McGraw CDs, giving me hours and hours of listening enjoyment!  Or listening fantasies.  Whatever!

6.  It turns on a dime.  As long as that dime is the size of a cul-de-sac.  Seriously, it can, and does, turn any u-turn into a five point turn!  Dave says it drives like a boat!  Hey, boats are cool, and so is my minivan.

5.  Eventually, because the seats come out, I've told my family they can use it for my coffin.  EVENTUALLY!  Not today!  Seriously, they all think it's hideous.  They're not going to want it when I'm gone, so I say they just take out the seats, lay me in the back, turn the key to auxiliary and blast my Timmy CDs.  I'll feel like I'm in heaven before I even get there!

4.  It takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!  It's helped teach three teenagers to drive and survived every scary moment.  It's hit curbs, nearly smacked poles, almost ran over a poor lady in a wheelchair and merged onto the freeway at speeds so slow that I swear I saw a tortoise pass us!  And it's kept us safe all the while!

3.  It can fit a long board, five boogie boards, beach towels, fins, umbrellas, beach chairs, numerous coolers and a ton of people and take us all down to the beach!  This green goober mobile of ours has provided us so many days of fun in the sun.  And it never once has complained about the sand we bring home!

2.  It has taken us to Utah and back more times than I can recall.  Many many trips to the cabin in the woods.  Trips to attend general conference.  And mostly trips to see Jessica and Todd.  Take me there again, little minivan.  Take me there again SOON!

1.  It is payment free!

So you can laugh if you want.  You can call me a goober.  You can wonder why someone as cool as me doesn't drive a car equally as cool.  But I'm here to tell ya that I love my little green goober mobile, and I'm proud to be a minivan mom!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Our Very Interesting ShelbyLynn!

On ShelbyLynn's Facebook I saw a post that said "25 Random Things You May or May Not Know About Me".  I thought they were interesting, and totally blogable.

1. My first car got stolen from my driveway :(

2. I am TERRIFIED of growing up.

3. I love my hair long but have an obsession of cutting it, and i always regret it later.

4. At night I watch either George Lopez, The Nanny, or Friends when I'm going to sleep.

5. I always cut my peanut butter and jelly sandwiches diagonally.

6. When flipping through the channels, I will often stop on infomercials, especially when it's jewelry.

7. I really want my own apartment that I can decorate to my liking.

8. I work at In-N-Out :)

9. I want to go to Italy sooo bad.

10. I don't like to talk about death.

11. I make a wish at every 11:11 that I happen to see.

12. One of my biggest fears is not being able to have kids.

13. I love musicals. Watching them and being in them.

14. I take every opportunity I have to talk about the old days in high school (even though I just graduated this past year). :P

15. I'm about to enroll for my classes at MiraCosta College in about 15 minutes.

16. I really want to learn American Sign Language.

17. I love driving my car with a full tank of gas.

18. I text a lot. And, sadly, would probably be lost without my phone.

19. I love getting all dressed up.

20. I love Akon.

21. I have Graves Disease, which means I have an overactive thyroid and causes me to have a very rapid heartbeat.

22. My room is filled with pictures of me with my friends and family.

23. Ice Cream always makes me feel better.

24. I'm Mormon and I love it!

25. I love music, whether it's listening to it, singing, or playing the piano.


I love that she ended with a smiley!  Last week we found out that Shelby has Graves Disease.  It explains a lot of things that have been going on with her.  Shelby has always been pretty tiny, but lately has become even tinier (aka skinnier).  She was also saying that her hear seemed to be beating really hard and not always regularly.  Then, she fainted one day at work.  After a few tests and a bunch of lab work the doctor determined Shelby has Graves.

She seemed to take the news well, but I can tell that it hasn't been easy for her.  She was looking forward to turning 18 and taking on the world.  She can still do that, but maybe at a slightly slower pace than originally planned.  At least for now.

Getting back to the smiley, I am grateful that she ended her post with a smiley.  Even during difficult times, there is always something so smile about.  Always blessings to be counted.  Always reason to celebrate!

ShelbyLynn teaches us that every single day, and we sure do love her for it!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

ShelbyLynn Graduated from Vista High School

We just couldn't be more thrilled for ShelbyLynn.  She graduated from high school and is ready to take on the world!  One thing's for sure, she's going to do whatever it is she sets her mind to.  She has an amazing future ahead of her and we are all so excited to see it unfold!

All ready to graduate and get on with life!

Shelby and Deanna walking onto the field

Where's Waldo?  I mean...Where's Shelby?

Shelby sang the Senior Song with the high school choir.
"Don't Stop Believing" (The Glee Version)

The very proud parents!